… to continue in English, press two

I went to pay a ticket the other day and, although paying online is an option, when searching for my ticket number the database returned “no citation found.” So I called the police to see what the deal is. (Side note: found out that the ticket will post sometime in 30-45 days; however, you have to have paid your ticket or requested a court date within 21 days of receiving the citation, otherwise a bench warrant is issued. Your tax dollars at work.)

So I call this number (214-670-0109) as directed on the Dallas City Hall webpage (http://www.dallascityhall.com/courts/court_online_payments.html). As usual an automated message picks up and confirms, yes, I’ve called the Dallas Court Services line, just as expected. Next, it launched into the exact same speech in Spanish. Ok, this is a 50/50 proposition these days, but not a surprise when calling the DPD. What happened next made my jaw drop. In Spanish the message continued on passed the greeting and asked you to press one (1) if you wanted to continue in Spanish. Then, in English, it came back and asked you to press two (2) if you wanted to proceed in English. Yes, you read that right, one for Spanish, two for English. Call it for yourself; again, 214-670-0109.

Now I’m no foe to diversity and I believe in most tenants of the various equal rights organizations, and even support some of them monetarily and with my time. But isn’t this the United States of America? I know full well that the United States has no “official” language, but you can also note that, as of this writing, 28 states do, in fact, have English as their “official” language. And official or not, there is no disputing English is the language of commerce and law of this land.

Are my expectations so out of whack? If I were to move to another country I would full well expect to have to learn the native tongue. When I travel abroad the first thing I do when I know I’m going is look up key phrases and memorize them, then begin building myself a pocket cheat-sheet of other useful phrases in the local language. Why? Because when I’m in a country where another language is spoken I fully expect it is ME who needs to change, not them. When my great-great grandparents came to this new land that offered them an opportunity to prosper, they learned English, and without all the help that is now available such as English as a Second Language (ESL) classes.

Now is this really about having to wait an extra 5 seconds and then press 2 for English? No, it’s about the implication of this and other such actions we see happening. Diversity is a good thing, something to be celebrated, as long as diversity doesn’t mean complete division. Yes, we support new immigrants with ESL classes in public schools; yes, we provide help by making available multiple language forms at the DOT (DMV in some states) as well as hospitals and other public buildings, as we should. But I ask, where does it stop? I won’t be so bold as to say I know the answer, but I can say that pressing 1, not 2 for English would be a good place to start.

So why is it everyone sues to make sure they are “included,” yet in areas where they need to make an effort to be included all the sudden we have to make special arrangements? We are a land of immigrants and this past is part of what gives us strength as a nation; what binds those otherwise singular strengths together is our sense of community, one nation, together. Together in our own unique ways, but together for the common good.

"The strength of the United States is not the gold at Fort Knox or the weapons of mass destruction that we have, but the sum total of the education and the character of our people." United States Senator Claiborne Pell, for whom the Pell Grant is named.

The social degradation of any society begins with the language. Once communication skills are hampered, collapse of other social institutions is inevitable. We need to begin to expect more from our newly welcomed immigrants. Keep your traditions, keep the best parts of you and your heritage, but join us in becoming “one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

Open letter to my representatives

Please go to http://www.congress.org, input your zip code, and you will automatically be able to write an e-mail to all of your political representatives in government. It’s that easy.

Open letter to:
President George W. Bush (R),
Senator John Cornyn (R-TX),
Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison (R-TX),
Representative Eddie Bernice Johnson (D-TX 30th),

As a registered voter, I call on you to support the State of Israel not in blind devotion, but based on the following truths. As a national leader you have the unique ability to support freedom and democracy and reaffirm each country's right to freedom from terror and pursuit of happiness and peace.

Whereas, Hamas is an Islamic extremist terrorist organization, as designated by both the United States and the European Union, which calls for the eradication of the State of Israel;

Whereas, Hamas rockets from Gaza have purposefully targeted vulnerable southern Israeli cities, specifically landing on or near private homes, schools, colleges, hospitals, daycares and recreation centers;

Whereas, no sovereign government in the world would stand by and allow its citizens to be under steady and heavy attack;

Whereas, Hamas continues to hold hostage Cpl. Gilad Shalit, who was kidnapped on June 25, 2006, in southern Israel and refuses even basic humanitarian conditions or international Red Cross involvement;

Whereas, Israel is taking maximum precautions to avoid harming civilians in Gaza;

Therefore, let it be known that the State of Israel, the strongest standing democracy in the Middle East and long-time friend to The United States of America, has every right to defend their citizens from outside attack.

Let it also be known that The United States of America supports Israel unequivocally in its pursuit of measured and targeted military response and pursuit of peace within its borders and the region.

Defensive Driving

So a few weeks ago I got caught going 72mph on highway 75. Seriously, the posted limit is 60, but it’s Texas. More so, it’s Dallas! No one goes the speed limit. The speed limit signs are more of suggestions I thought, general rules of thumb like “watch your step” signs and the such.
To get out of the ticket I chose to take defensive driving. Not only will I have the ticket cleared from my record, but I’ll save $80 a year on my insurance. Whippie, but I guess it’s the best way I can get back at the man this week. So I’ll take my $80 sir!

Now, where to take said defensive driving class? Well, I’m not one for sitting in a classroom for 6 hours straight on a weekend. I don’t own a working VCR so no defensive driving via tape. I think they have DVDs, but I am simply too lazy to go to Blockbuster to find out. So I settle on an on-line course. I figure that way I can drop in and out over my lunch period and at nights and over a week or two get the required hours in. Turns out it was even better. I dropped in between drug induced comas. (yes, prescription because of my surgery.)

I look for two things: something to keep me from offing myself during it; and something cheap. I thought I found this in www. comedydriving.com. Come on, it says comedy right in the name and it’s only $25. Holy cow was I wrong! This has got to be the worst attempt at humor ever. I would have rather watched paint dry or flies procreate. Poorly done voice impersonations plus shitty animation combined with horrible jokes (if you can even call them that; calling police “pigs” seemed to be the most reoccurring) and sprinkle liberally on an already painful topic equals disaster. Seriously, I’m recovering from surgery and am on some great pain killers and I still want to take the cord from the mouse and hang myself. At least they had a continual countdown showing me how many painful minutes remained ahead of me until completion.

I guess the old adage is true: if something seems too good to believe, it probably is. Funny, on-line convenience and cheap was just too good to be real. So my advice for all you looking to erase a ticket or lower your insurance in the state of Texas, AVOID comedydriving.com or risk suicide. Or, just don’t speed. I guess that’s a good option too.

This week's sign the apocalypse is almost upon us

This might also fall into a, “you can’t make this stuff up” category, but for now I’ll assume it’s simply part of society turning on itself and quickening the end of times. This ride will be so much fun!

So a 13 year old kid, from of all places Texas, stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers. Seriously? I didn’t even know what a hooker was at 13, much less that the hell I’d do with her!

The best part? When the hookers got suspicious, the boy and his friend told them they were people of “restricted growth” working with a traveling circus. Texas State law folks… you cannot discriminate against those with disabilities, so the prostitutes felt they had no right to refuse them, and stayed and played XBox with the kids.

I’m rethinking this whole, ‘having kids’ thing. Well folks, “be fruitful and multiply” at your own peril.

http://www.money.co.uk/article/1000390-13-year-old-steals-dads-credit-card-to-buy-hookers.htm