Defensive Driving

So a few weeks ago I got caught going 72mph on highway 75. Seriously, the posted limit is 60, but it’s Texas. More so, it’s Dallas! No one goes the speed limit. The speed limit signs are more of suggestions I thought, general rules of thumb like “watch your step” signs and the such.
To get out of the ticket I chose to take defensive driving. Not only will I have the ticket cleared from my record, but I’ll save $80 a year on my insurance. Whippie, but I guess it’s the best way I can get back at the man this week. So I’ll take my $80 sir!

Now, where to take said defensive driving class? Well, I’m not one for sitting in a classroom for 6 hours straight on a weekend. I don’t own a working VCR so no defensive driving via tape. I think they have DVDs, but I am simply too lazy to go to Blockbuster to find out. So I settle on an on-line course. I figure that way I can drop in and out over my lunch period and at nights and over a week or two get the required hours in. Turns out it was even better. I dropped in between drug induced comas. (yes, prescription because of my surgery.)

I look for two things: something to keep me from offing myself during it; and something cheap. I thought I found this in www. comedydriving.com. Come on, it says comedy right in the name and it’s only $25. Holy cow was I wrong! This has got to be the worst attempt at humor ever. I would have rather watched paint dry or flies procreate. Poorly done voice impersonations plus shitty animation combined with horrible jokes (if you can even call them that; calling police “pigs” seemed to be the most reoccurring) and sprinkle liberally on an already painful topic equals disaster. Seriously, I’m recovering from surgery and am on some great pain killers and I still want to take the cord from the mouse and hang myself. At least they had a continual countdown showing me how many painful minutes remained ahead of me until completion.

I guess the old adage is true: if something seems too good to believe, it probably is. Funny, on-line convenience and cheap was just too good to be real. So my advice for all you looking to erase a ticket or lower your insurance in the state of Texas, AVOID comedydriving.com or risk suicide. Or, just don’t speed. I guess that’s a good option too.